Constant Grace

I'm praying 2 Corinthians 12: 9 - 10 for you all today.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

In verse 7 of 2 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about the thorn in his side that is harassing and tormenting him. He says it 'was a messenger of Satan, to harass me.' In verse 8, he asks the Lord THREE times to remove it. And God's reply is, "My grace is sufficient for you..."

God did NOT remove the thorn. Have you ever wondered why? Surely it would've been very easy for Him to just remove it and let Paul move on with life. He didn't. Why? Only God knows, really, but perhaps it was so that Paul could learn to depend on Jesus even more. Perhaps it was a gift, although Paul certainly didn't see it that way. He asked for deliverance from it. The thorn in Paul's side, whatever it was, seemed to have annoyed him. It distracted him. He was always aware of it's presence.  But God had a purpose for Paul's thorn.  He used it to teach Paul about contentment, weakness and strength. Contentment in weakness. Contentment in insults.  Contentment in hardships and persecutions. Contentment in calamities. When we are weak, God is strong.

I find this incredibly challenging. Contentment in weakness? In hardships? Really? Is that even possible? Well...yes. I am becoming content with my weaknesses. When I was at my weakest point, God's strength took over and things changed. I changed. I am learning to boast about how weak I am.  The note in my study bible for verse 9 says that "'is sufficient' reveals the constant availability of divine grace.  God would not remove the thorn, as Paul had requested, but would continually supply him with grace to endure it.  The weaker the human instrument, the more clearly God's grace shines forth."

I love that!  

Constant availability of divine grace...constant.  Dictionary.com uses words like 'not changing, unceasing, continual, persistent, steadfast, faithful and unswerving in love' to define 'constant'.  

We all have limitations. Many of you have reached or are close to reaching yours. I am praying for you today. Praying that you'll find contentment in your weakness and hardship. Praying that you know that know that you KNOW that His grace IS sufficient for you. Boast GLADLY in your weaknesses, friends, and let His power rest upon you today.  His divine grace is constant.  Boast in that!

Love to you,

Nothing

Have you read Romans 8 lately?  If not, I encourage you to find 10 minutes today, sit down, take a deep breath and read it.  You won't regret it.  I've read through Romans 8 a few times this morning and prayed much of it over you, friends.  Romans 8 is full of LIFE and HOPE.  It's full of REDEMPTION and PROMISE.  And so much LOVE.

Today I pray that you will each KNOW that NOTHING can separate you from God's love.  You may have said or done things yesterday (or just now) that you regret.  You may feel unlovable and ashamed.  You may feel unworthy and hopeless.  I pray that you will find hope in this:

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  As it is written, 

"For your sake we are being killed all the day long; 

we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered."  

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Do you ever feel as though you're 'being killed all the day long' or is it just me?  Do you ever feel like you're regarded as a sheep to be slaughtered?  I am so thankful for the next words...we are more than conquerors.  The note in my study bible says, "means to over-conquer, to conquer completely, without any real threat to personal life or death."  Praise God!  And look at all those 'nors', friends.  I personally love 'nor anything else.'  That covers all the bases, don't you think?  Nothing NOTHING nothing can separate me or you from God's love.  Nothing.

In the words of John Piper, "Not only can we not be separated from the love that Christ has for us, but that love is so powerfully for us, at all times, that it turns every circumstance into a triumph."  In ALL these things, we MORE THAN conquer through Him who loves us.  I pray that you will grasp this...and that it will grasp you today.  Go read Romans 8.  Trust me.

Love,

Monday's Music

This is for someone today...anyone else feeling Worn?

"Worn"

I’m tired I’m worn

My heart is heavy

From the work it takes

To keep on breathing

I’ve made mistakes

I’ve let my hope fail

My soul feels crushed

By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up

But I'm too weak

Life just won’t let up

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause I’m worn

My prayers are wearing thin

Yeah, I’m worn

Even before the day begins

Yeah, I’m worn

I’ve lost my will to fight

I’m worn

So, heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart

That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise

From the ashes of a broken life

And all that’s dead inside can be reborn

Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

Though I’m worn

Yeah I’m worn

Love,

Rest

What do you think of when you hear the word 'rest'?

Right around the New Year, God began to impress upon me that He wanted me to focus my prayers for you on a few specific things for awhile.  One of those things is rest.  I'm not talking about sleep here, although sleep is definitely a component of rest. About 4 months after coming home with Happy, my sleep cycle became very disturbed...for over a year.  I was just so tense and stressed out all the time.  I found myself in a pattern of waking up at 3 am every night (morning?).  No matter what time I went to bed, 3 am was my wake up time.  It was incredibly frustrating and I was exhausted.  Exhausted doesn't even begin to describe it adequately.  I love sleep.  I used to sleep about 9 hours a night...it was glorious.  A friend of mine from one of my post-adoption support groups suggested that my high stress levels the past year had probably depleted my body of important vitamins and minerals...she spoke from her own experience of post-adoption-unbelievable-stress-not-able-to-sleep.  I know a few others who are currently suffering from lack of sleep and insomnia.  It's not that they're not tired...it's that they simply can't sleep.  A vicious cycle for sure.

rest [rest]

noun

1. the refreshing quiet or repose of sleep.
2. refreshing ease or inactivity after exertion or labor.
3. relief or freedom, especially from anything that wearies, troubles, or disturbs.
4. a period or interval of inactivity, repose, solitude, or tranquility.
5. mental or spiritual calm; tranquility.

If I had read the above definition of rest a year ago, when things were particularly hard and stressful with Happy, I would have laughed.  Well, actually I probably would have cried.

Refreshing quiet?

Repose of sleep?

Freedom from anything that wearies, troubles, or disturbs?

Inactivity?  Repose?  Solitude? Tranquility?

Mental calm?  Spiritual calm?

Ha!  I remembered that these things had been a part of my life for a long time.  But a year ago I COULD NOT IMAGINE these wonderful gifts coming back into my life.  They were far off, unreachable luxuries.  My 'mental calm' alone had not existed in...well, probably since we started the adoption process in January 2010.

Friends, I'm here to tell you that you WILL find rest again.  I sit here on my couch under a fleece blanket on this cold, windy, rainy day sipping a cup of hot tea, thinking of and praying for you.  I guarantee you this would not have happened on this day a year ago.  Well, I guess it might have happened, but it would have been me sitting here, tense, waiting on pins and needles for the next rage...wondering what would set her off, my tea getting cold from all the interruptions.  It would not have included the tranquility that is present today, right now.

I will be sharing more about rest in the coming days.  The Lord has been teaching me so much about biblical rest and why it's important.  Not just to us, but rest is important to Him.  Did you know that rest is one of the 10 Commandments in Exodus 20?  It is.  Rest is important.  Rest is for our good.  We MUST rest.

For now, just know that I am praying for each of you.  I'm praying for rest for each of you.  Rest for your mind.  Rest for you heart.  Rest for you body.  Rest for your soul.  My prayer list is up to 67 right now.  I am praying daily for all 67 of you and in general for all the other adoptive parents who I know are struggling and lacking rest.

Don't forget God's promise in Exodus 33:14 - "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

The Lord also says in Isaiah 14:3 that He will give you rest from your pain and turmoil and the hard service with which you were made to serve.

Wait on Him.  Don't give up.  Rest will be yours.

Love,

Refinement through Affliction

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; 

perplexed but not driven to despair; 

persecuted but not forsaken; 

struck down but not destroyed.  

2 Corinthians 4:8 - 9

"It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"I am not enough."

"I feel like a failure."

"I'm mad at God."

"I'm not sure I'm cut out for this."

"Have I ruined my family?"

"I didn't think I wouldn't like her."

"I'm a horrible person."

"Why has God forsaken me?"

"Did we make a mistake?"

"What is wrong with me?"

"I was not prepared for this."

"I feel so defeated."

"I am never going to be good enough."

"Why did I do this to my family?  We were fine before."

"Is God mad at me?  Is He punishing me for something?"

"I'm at the bottom of the pit."

Oh...my dear, precious friends.  I have said all of these things more than once since bringing Happy home.  As I have prayed that God would deliver you from darkness to light...well, the enemy is working overtime to keep you in the dark pit.  I have heard the above sentiments from so very many of you the past few days.  My heart aches for you.  I'm so sorry.  I wish I could make it all better.  I wish I could deliver a hug and lots of chocolate to each of you personally.  I wish I had the answers you desire.  But I don't.  Well, I CAN answer one question...God has NOT forsaken you!  He hasn't.  I know it may feel that way...I remember feeling that way myself.  But God has NOT abandoned you.  Of this I am sure.

I struggle to find comforting, encouraging words for you.  I remember when I was deep in the pit how angry I got when people would quote scripture to me or tell me God is good.  I wasn't angry with the people...just angry.  I remember crying on my bed with Prince when things were particularly bad.  I remember him telling me, "You know God loves you."  And I snottily replied, "No, I don't know that.  I know He SAYS He loves me.  But I'm sure not feelin' the love at the moment.  Why would He do this to me if He loves me so much?"  Yep.  Not my finest moment.  But now you know.  Anyway, the last thing I wanted to hear some (most) days was that God's plan for me is good.  So, I struggle because most of the things I want to say to you are things you probably already know and don't want to hear right now.  I could type until my fingers fall off and you would likely read my words, nod your head and say, "I know, I know. Blah, blah, blah."  That's what I would do when very loving, well-meaning friends would try to encourage me with scripture. I know it was the BEST thing they could've done for me, but I didn't want to hear it.  I would mentally say, "Talk to the hand!," if you know what I mean.

Friends, I am begging you to hold on.  Don't give up.  FIGHT!!!  Fight for your child.  Fight for your family.  Fight for joy.  Fight for love.  IT WILL BE WORTH IT!  I know it may not seem possible right now.  I KNOW you are hurting and confused.  I know the hopelessness so many of you feel right now.  But, THERE IS HOPE!  There is ALWAYS hope in Christ!  Jesus IS our hope!  (See...are you nodding your head and thinking, "I know, I know..."  Please don't tune me out yet.)

One of the promises God made to me on my way out of the pit was, "I am refining you."  I recently spent some time reading scripture about refinement...

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.  Isaiah 48:10

It's interesting to me that refinement comes from time spent in the furnace of affliction.  Affliction.  Psalm 34:19 says, "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all."  He will deliver you too, my friends.

I'm in a few different post-adoption support groups made up of all sorts of different people and backgrounds.  I was wondering recently how many people struggle after adopting.  I don't know of any actual statistics.  So many people have wonderful, seamless adoptions and it's all sunshine and unicorns from day one.  Others don't.  From my own numbers, based on the groups I'm in, it seems that about 1/3 of us struggle in ways I've discussed here after bringing our children home.  One third.

As I was studying refinement, I came across this...

And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”  Zechariah 13:9

I read it a few times before I realized it says, "this third."  Does this strike anyone else as significant?  It did me.  God purposefully put a third into the fire.  To refine them.  To test them.  His people.  He will answer His people when they call upon His name.  There is purpose in your struggles, friends.  Don't lose trust in God.  He is faithful.  He is trustworthy.  He knows what He's doing.  And He IS with you!  He has NOT forsaken you!  And, dare I say it, His plan for you is good.  (Am I talking to the hand yet?)

I will leave you with this...I am praying this for you all.

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:6 - 9

Much love,